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Up Close and Personal [Picture of Parrot]

by John Haley
Ambrosia Software receives a lot of letters asking us just who we are. In an effort to help our customers get a better picture of this outfit, each issue of Ambrosia's newsletter will feature an interview with one of the people behind Ambrosia's programs.

Since this is the first column of this kind we feature the employee who bests symbolizes what this company stands for, this individual has made the greatest contributions to our effort to provide quality shareware for the Macintosh.

Ambrosia Times: It is my pleasure to introduce Hector D. Byrd. Hello Hector, it is good to have you with us today.

Hector D. Byrd: Hello.

Ambrosia Times: Hector, when most people think of Ambrosia Software, the individual that usually comes to mind is Andrew Welch. The average Maelstrom fan has no idea that you are actually the creative genius behind this award winning game as well as most other Ambrosia products. When you are at conventions or trade shows, what do you say to people that have no idea who you are or what imaginative works you have done?

Hector D. Byrd: Hello.

Ambrosia Times: Yes, I guess that would be appropriate. All of that creative talent and a sense of humour too! Hector, developing such intricate programs must be a time consuming and tedious task. Although the Macintosh platform is designed for ease of use, there must still be pitfalls and obstacles in the developing stage of your programs. Many programmers are often easily daunted by the problems inherent with programming. Obviously, from the portfolio of programs that you have brought to market, you have found a way to overcome these challenges. What is the first thing that jumps into your mind when you encounter such a problem.

Hector D. Byrd: !#@$.

Ambrosia Times: Hey, I realize that programming is frustrating, but there is no need for vulgarity. Lets be reasonable.

Hector D. Byrd: Smoke me.

Ambrosia Times: Did you say "smoke me?" One more outburst like that and this interview is over. I'll wring your little pigeon neck you underfed, talking vulture. You are not the only one with a difficult job you know. What do you have to say for yourself.

Hector D. Byrd: Hello.

Ambrosia Times: Good, good idea. Lets start from the beginning. I am sure you want to keep your developing secrets to yourself anyway, and that is understandable. Hector, I am told that you are originally from sub-Saharan Africa. That must be very different from the frosty weather of Rochester, New York. Living in the jungles of Africa must have provided an exotic backdrop for your younger years. To give us less traveled wanderers a taste of Africa, could you give us a sound of the jungle.

Hector D. Byrd: Meow.

Ambrosia Times: There is that sparkling sense of humour again. I understand that your man of the world persona has given you some success with the ladies. A successful, well travelled businessman like yourself must have an arsenal of opening lines to brake the ice when a woman attracts your attention. Could you give us a sample of your most suave pitch.

Hector D. Byrd: Come here.

Ambrosia Times: Direct, I must say that. I guess you conduct the affairs of the heart the same way you run Ambrosia. Well sir, thank you for your time. I am sure you have important business to attend to so I shall return you to your perch.

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