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by David Dunham


This section features reader responses to Ambrosia's software & service. We will include the good with the bad, and address any problems brought to our attention. These are real people writing real letters about real issues. Feel free to drop us a line.

Welcome the World of the Swivelchair Warrior

This came in to Ben Spees, the author of Harry the Handsome Executive, and the upcoming Ferazel's Wand

Dear Mr. Spees,
First of all, my humblest apologies for not responding to your message sooner, I have been in the process of beating Harry. As you would like to know a little about us to aid in your decision as to whether or not we are worthy of an official chartering, I have compiled a little information about us. Before we formed, there was a loose group of us that was interested enough in Harry to hold HarryFest '98 on the 31 of December. That was an amazing success (despite the fact that due to poor planning only four of us were able to make it). We had some very cool trophies. Unfortunatly my mom broke mine (I was Champion of the Offices) when she was vacuuming my room. I had won the time-trails through some cool custom levels (I have a registered copy of Harry), but my best friend, Jimmy, won our Best Custom World Competition. He was seconds away from also getting second in the time-trials. The actual Oxford Swivel Warriors has only existed since March 14. We are currently only five strong, but there are a few more people who may join our ranks soon. If there is anything else that you would like to know, please contact me.

Your Most Humble Servant,
James Elliott
P.S. I have attached our constitution and bylaws

Constitution and Bylaws

This organization is founded on this the fourteenth day of March, 1999. Its goals are as follows: This organization is founded for the purpose of upholding the ways of the ancient order of the Swivel Warriors. The members shall revive the ways of the Golden Era of Swivelry. They shall also protect against the evil forces of The Other Side and help in the development of additional Harry worlds, tile sets, etc. (Harry the Handsome Executive is a valuable Swivel learning tool written by Ben Spees). The leader is the Swivel Chieftain. It is his over meetings and establish the dates for those meetings. The Swivel Chieftain does most of the work. This includes corresponding with other Swivel Chieftains and recruiting new warriors (anyone can spread the word of the Swivel, but only the Swivel Chieftain can approve the membership of new people). People of any race, religion, or sex are allowed to join the Oxford Swivel Warriors. The continual use of the term "he" in this constitution is not sexism, it is merely the easiest way to keep things uniform.

Meeting Procedure Before Chieftain and anyone else who has to do with the goings-on of that meeting. The Swivel Chieftain first calls the meeting to order. He then appoints one of his brother warriors to take the minutes of the meeting (only in the absence of the scribe). Everyone salutes and says "The Swivel!". The floor is then turned over to any warrior who needs to make an announcement. After that, the Swivel Chieftain proceeds with the agenda, allowing time for any suggestions or remarks from his brother warriors between each item on the agenda. If the commentary either strays from the subject or lasts so long as to have to shorten the later parts of the meeting, the Swivel Chieftain has the right to make a discussion cease.

Once everything on the agenda is covered, or time runs out, the Swivel Chieftain then closes the meeting in a manner similar to the way it was opened. If a warrior cannot attend a meeting personally, he can attend via phone or he can send memos to be re attend via internet chat or video conferencing.

Bylaws of the Oxford Swivel Warriors

1) When a person becomes a member of the Oxford Swivel Warriors, he is a member for as long as he chooses to be and pays his dues (unless banished in shame, or if the Order disbands). If he quits, is banished, or the Order disbands, his dues are not refunded.

2) Members must live by the code of Swivelry.

3) Members must attend the meetings.

4) Members must pay annual dues of fifty cents.

5) Members can be called upon to help by providing funds and materials.

6) During meetings, all staple guns must be on the table in front of their owners.

If the Swivel Chieftain decides that the Order should disband, he writes up an official memo to be rea he states the reasons for the disbanding. In the event of a disbanding, all funds go to a sealed metal box that will only be opened if the order reorganizes, a year elapses, or the box is needed for another purpose (in this case, the money will be put in an envelope). After the year is over (and the Order is still in ruin), the money goes to the Swivel Chieftain. If the Order owns anything, it will be kept under the care of the Chieftain for a year. After a year it will become his property. If the order reorganizes within a year, the funds and property will become the property of the new Order.

Expulsion from the Oxford Swivel Warriors
If a member of the Oxford Swivel Warriors betrays the Order, or purposely harms a fellow (loyal) Swivel Warrior, he is brought to trial. He can also be brought to trial if the thinks that a charge lodged against him by a fellow Warrior is legitimate. (The Swivel Chieftain cannot be tried.) At a trial, the Swivel Chieftain picks a tribunal of elders to act as jury. (If there are not enough warriors for all of the positions to be filled, the Swivel Chieftain will act as the jury.) The warrior who has lodged the charges (or a warrior picked by the Swivel Chieftain) acts as prosecutor. The warrior who is being tried must act as his own defense. The jury then rules. If the defendant is innocent, it will be as if nothing happened. If he is guilty, the Swivel Chieftain decides his punishment. The Swivel Chieftain has the right to expel the guilty defendant. If he chooses to expel him, that warrior is stripped of his warriorship, has his membership card torn up, and is never allowed to attend another meeting unless pardoned. His membership number cannot be used again. If the Swivel Chieftain decides not to expel him, he can punish him in just abou When one has been expelled, he is not allowed to attend Swivel Warriors meetings and functions (waivers can be made). His number is also never used again.

When a Swivel Warrior is pardoned it means that his crimes against the Swivel Warriors are forgotten and he is allowed to rejoin. To be pardoned, the Swivel chieftain must officially rule on the pardoning. Depending on the ruling of the Swivel Chieftain he may start out at his old rank or at the lowest rank. If he rejoins, he is not allowed to have his old number back.

There are multiple ranks that can be achieved in the Swivel Warriors. The lowest is Gopher. It is a gopher's job to set up things (tables, refreshments, etc.) for meetings and other gatherings. They work partly as servants to members of higher rank. When something is needed it is their j minor work to learn the ways of the Swivel. A gopher advances a rank after he comes before the Swivel Chieftain and is approved. Next is Intern. An intern is a member who is working as an apprentice to learn the ways of the Swivel. At this point the most extensive training takes place. Interns are taught both verbally and using the game "Harry the Handsome Executive" by Ben Spees. When an intern has finished his training, he goes before the Swivel Chieftain. If he thinks that the internšs training is complete (see the section "Apprentices"), the intern then advances to the next rank. A member can then become a Warrior. As a warrior, he has completed his training and is ready to protect justice in the offices. As a warrior he can then take on an apprent The highest rank is Elder. To become an elder, a warrior must be summoned before the Swivel Chieftain and chosen by him. elder, he is one of the elite Swivel warriors. Offices Aside from ranks, there are also offices that can be held. Offices can only be held by members whose rank is intern or above (with the exception of scribe). Some ranks require a member to be a particular rank. First there is Scribe. Scribe is the only rank that can be held by a gopher. The scribe takes the minutes of meetings and then submits them in typed form to the S The scribe also records the joining of new members. In his absence, the Swivel Chieftain can do this. It is the job of the scribe to make sure that current and accurate information is had on all members. This includes such things as e-mail address, rank, membership expiration date, etc. There is also the office of Treasurer. The treasurer must be an intern or higher. It is his job to keep track of Order funds. It is his fault if any money is lost. All records of transactions must bear the signature of either the Chieftain or the treasurer.

When a member moves to a place near Oxford but too far to conveniently come to meetings, he is kept in touch via e-mail and phone. He can attend meetings over the phone and, if possible, via video confe If he moves far from Oxford, his membership number is honorably retired. This means that if he ever returns, he will be able to resume his old rank and membership card number. If a number is honorably retired, it can never be used by anyone except its original owner (if he ever returns).

A warrior or elder can only take on a single apprentice at a time. The teacher must fully train and instruct the apprentice. All apprentices must be interns. It is the job of the instructor to train the apprentice not only in the ways of the Swivel, but also in the use of the Swivel Chair and staple gun. Only when the instructor says that the intern is ready to become a warrior, can the intern go before the Chieftain for approval of his rank advancement. After being trained by his master, an intern must then prove that he has learned all that is necessary to protect justice in the offices. Chieftain will watch the warrior-to-be and decide whether he passes this test. If he finds his skill to be sufficient, he then goes on to the next test. After the warrior-to-be has proven his prowess with a staple gun he must then prove his skill at maneuvering a swivel chair. This is watched by the Swivel Chieftain. If he finds that the Swivel is with him, he passes him on to the final and most difficult test. If the warrior-to-be passes the first two tests, he then must pass the test of The Soul Of The Swivel. To do this he must pass between two soul statues and survive. His master cannot instruct him in any way as to how to pass the soul statues. Other Warriors cannot tell him anything about it either. If the warrior-to-be passes all three of the above mentioned tests, he is then a Swivel Warrior of the Oxford Order. He is put in the records as soon as possible, but is not officially announced as a warrior until the Constitutional Revision If very drastic revision of the constitution is necessary, the Swivel Chieftain and some of his brother warriors will redraft the constitution. In the event of a redrafting, all amendments remain the same. The revised constitution must then be read at the next meeting of the Order and voted on as to whether or not to adopt it. If the new constitution is adopted, the old constitution is then filed away for future reference. After the constitution has been adopted, it must be signed by all those present at the adoption of it. The same is true for this constitution. Any minor revision to the constitution can be carried out via amendments.

Amendments are either new rules for the Order or simply things that must be added to the constitution itself. If any amendments need to be added, they must be presented at a meeting (all members must be notified in advance) and then voted on by all the members the law is and does must be brought before those present and read aloud to all. There must be a majority vote. It is an open vote. All in favor say "Aye"; all opposed say "Nay". The scribe keeps track of the votes. He then gives the final verdict to the Swivel Chieftain, who announces the outcome of the vote. All who are present then sign the amendment. To repeal an amendment, an amendment that states that the old amendment is no longer has to be approved. The old amendment shall be kept on the list.

Now that is dedication to the way of the swivelchair.

Ambrosia, win, place and show

Thought about you guys today at River Downs race track. Race 2 a 3 year old horse named Ambrosia was favored at 8-5. Owned by Larry A Byer. He ended up placeing. Not bad!!

Sounds like a good bet to me...

Ambrosia neither recommends, endorses, nor condones gambling in any form....

Excellent tech support, from Purple Shark Software

When Snapz Pro 2 was released, it was brought to my attention that there was a conflict with SP and the Setting Sun screensaver. Before I could contact the author, I recieved this, it's a copy of a correspondence between a sharp user of both SP and the Setting Sun screensaver, and Dair Grant:

I am trying out both Setting Sun (v1.0) and Snapz Pro (v2.0.0), and I think I have found a conflict between the two.

Well spotted - I had incorrectly set an extra bit within a bitfield used to communicate the presence of screensavers to other apps (and this bit was basically telling Snapz Pro that it wasn't allowed to draw any UI elements). I've now fixed it, and this will work correctly in the next release (1.0.1, which should be out at the end of the month). In the mean time, the only workaround is to quit Setting Sun when you want to use Snapz Pro (or capture the whole screen) - sorry about that.

I understand the fix has been made.

Until next month, take it easy y'all.

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