As I was introduced to you in the last issue of Ambrosia Times, I hope most of you know who I am and what I do here at Ambrosia Software. For those of you who had better things to do than read about me (can you say everyone?), I am John Cook and I am the Office Manger/ Accountant and all around guy to blame when things do not work.
Speaking of things not working right: many of you have already had contact with our 800 service. None of you will again. We have terminated our relationship with (read: fired) them due to their inability to take your orders and send them to us in a reasonable manner. [Ed Note: Stay away from Secrephone in Pittsford, NY.] As I was the one who hired them, you can all yell at me. We are now taking a different route with our toll free number. We expect you will find that there will be no more missing orders, delays or bad information after this change. We will take orders from 8:00 AM to 7:00 PM Monday thru Friday. As a general rule, if your order is in before 6:00 PM, Sunday thru Thursday, your order will be processed and your code sent to you the following morning.
We feel that this change in our ordertaking procedures will provide the best possible service while allowing us to keep our overhead costs low so that we can continue to provide you with the best shareware at the best prices.
There are a few things that I would like to state about what the order only line can and can't do. They will be able to provide you with help in registering your software. They will know the prices, they will know when you should be able to expect your codes and they will know how to treat our customers. What they will not be able to do is provide any technical assistance or hints. They will not be able to forward messages to have us call you. We work on such a low profit margin, that as much as we would like to talk to our friends and customers, we can not afford to call our customers (read you) around the world to answer questions.
If there are questions about billing or having received your codes, you can call our main phone number at 716-325-1910 and ask for me (be gentle, lots of people are mean to me). If you have tech questions or need hints, call David on our main line. Jason is our crack marketing person. If you have a question about discounts for multiple purchases or site licenses etc (by the way Jason, you owe me a chess game again) [Ed Note: No way, dude. You keep forking my bishops!], he is the man to see. If you are not sure who can best help you, just talk to the first of us who answers the phone.
Finally, I would like to discuss Purchase Orders. We provide Purchase Orders for companies that are making purchases of large numbers of programs, and they need to go thru their purchasing department, which meins that they need an invoice to pay from. This option is not usable by individual persons purchasing a game (boo hiss boo!). It is just the only way that we can make sales to large companies, colleges, universities, etc.
Okay, I lied, there is one more thing. When you are putting in your order for the code for your favorite game, some people have forgotten to put in their address (city and state tend to be the most overlooked). If this is an oversight please remember that if we do not have your address, we can not process your order. Don't worry about getting junk mail - We have not, will not and as long as Andrew runs the place will be fired if we allow anyone to even look at our list of customers. As all of you who have already made orders from us know, we do not even send you information about other products. As Jason has yelled while standing on his desk and holding the company flag up..."WE ARE SPAM FREE!!!" Remember, if you do not have an e-mail address, that is fine, we will still be able to process your orders.
Well that is all for today. If you have any questions, PLEASE PLEASE e-mail me or call me!! If it may be of interest I will put it into a future issue of Ambrosia Times with an answer. You will have helped your fellow gamer. You will have helped us work better for you. YOU WOULD GET YOUR NAME ON THE WEB SITE!!!!!
thanks for listening, now back to work. Put the whip down Andrew !! I am running, I am running!!