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How To

by Jason Whong

How to romance Jason's roommate Lori

If you've ever looked at my web page, you know that I live with my roommate, Lori, and that we're great friends. It's true: we really are friends, and we really are not romantically involved. That's part of the beauty of being friends.

Anyway, one of the things friends do with each other is talk about romance. Lori has heard my many tales of The Bank Lady, and I have listened to her complain about the Ice Cream Man, who will not leave her alone. Yes, we give descriptive nicknames like these to all of our potential dates. Although, the Ice Cream Man doesn't really sell ice cream at all, nor will he ever be a potential date, but I digress.

While the Ice Cream Man continues to chase Lori, she actively seeks someone else. I made a bet with her that I could get a whole bunch of Ambrosia fans to write in and profess their undying love for her. Fans, don't let me down! I really need to win this bet.

Lori is excellent, and that's all there is to say. David and John will both vouch for her beauty, as will I. She is well educated, and likes to have fun. What more could you ask for?

So, without further ado, here is how to romance my roommate Lori.

Step One: Think of a Nickname for yourself

I can tell you right now that Computer Geek is probably taken. It should be descriptive, like fatnose or CoffeeDude. It doesn't have to be real. But think of something, since you'll need it to introduce yourself.

Step Two: Think of something nice to say

Lori does not like cheesy pick-up lines, nor does she take kindly to rude language. Tell her how much you would really love her if you had the chance to meet in person. Tell her that she is the sun and the moon and the stars. Be romantic.

Step Three: Send an e-mail

Lori likes to get e-mail at lorilorilorilori@yahoo.com. So, please send all of your love messages there. If she really likes you, she will write back.

If you have reservations about talking to strange women, or to women at all, now is your chance to break free and say whatever you need to get off your chest. She really is a great listener. Plus, you'll be helping me win a bet. Thanks a million.

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