This section features reader responses to Ambrosia's software & service. We will include the good with the bad, and address any problems brought to our attention. These are real people writing real letters about real issues. Feel free to drop us a line.
From the Barrack Press Release:Umm... no - Barrack does not put you to sleep. You see, we took the definition of Prozac and replaced the word "Prozac" with "Barrack." We though it sounded cool (well, they did rhyme).
"Barrack increases levels of serotonin, a neurotransmitter" says Dr. Frankenspammer, noted psychologist.
Hmmm. Actually serotonin is the neurotransmitter that help you sleep. Like milk stimulates serotonin production, so a glass of milk before bed can lead to better sleep. So is Ambrosia actually saying that this game sends you to sleep? :-)
- Daniel Meijer
First let me say, I love your software... I just downloaded Barrack. I have a Performa 410 (LCII). When I start Barrack, I get a black screen and the game won't start. Won't it work on my trusty older Mac? I plan on getting a PowerMac, but until then....Nobody has Caps Lock on anymore, strange... We had a little problem with Barrack on some lower end Macs. See Eeek A Bug later in this issue for more information.
I didn't have Caps Lock on. Please help...
Barrack IS A WORD. I spent a year in Australia and in Australia "to root" for a team there is like saying you're screwing for that team....Root means to have sex. Instead Barrack is the term used, you barrack for this team or that team, never root, heh heh. Just so you know....I read the FAQ and you said it was not a word... IT IS.Even if we did find Barrack in the dictionary (which we didn't), I doubt it would say that. So, If Barrack means to root, and root means to have sex, what are you doing when you play the game? Should you do it in public?
- Cody Charette
I want to say that I enjoy your new game Barrack very much. It has fabulous graphics and a welcome mix of action and strategy. I must take issue with one item, however. Your depiction of "Bosco" the shark in the GAME OVER picture is greatly in error. As a faithful member of: S.H.A.R.K.I'd watch what I was saying about Bosco's wardrobe if I were you ;)
Skeptical Hotheads Against Reprehensible Kilobytes
I must point out that sharks NEVER wear orange plaid shorts with purple and yellow flowered Hawaiian shirts together. IF they wear shorts they would be of a seersucker striped variety. The shirt would most likely be of the blue/green type with perhaps some red flowers for contrast. You are correct however in that sharks most often wear hot pink sashes and matching sandals. ;-)
Otherwise keep up the good work.
Excellent Game! My wife and I are hooked. The dishes are dirty, the dog is starving, we've been fired from our jobs . . . I hope we can find a cardboard box with an outlet so we can keep playing once we're evicted.A cardboard box? I think we can hook you up with one. Heck, we'll give you the biggest one we have! It's the least we can do.
- Paul Baumgarten
It is my intention within the next day or two to register your dreadful game Apeiron. I feel it only fair to own a legal copy before I sue you for 2 billion dollars.Oh man, that's bad. Has your solicitor seen Barrack?
Not only is Apeiron almost Noriega backwards, which is pretty sinister in itself, but it is clearly the work of satan worshipping, drug crazed anarchists bent on undermining the very fabric of society.
The grounds for such litigation as I plan are simple and, I think, irrefutable. 1 billion for the loss of my wife and family and 1 billion for the mental trauma of living for weeks with a gibbering drooling idiot, once a well-loved and well-adjusted woman, who wakes me in the night with anguished, heart rending cries of 'COOLAH!!!'.
In the day I cannot get near the computer for the rigid, blank eyed, vacant presence of the pathetic vegetable, ONCE MY WIFE DAMN YOU!! She (it) is aware of nothing but the screen in front and Larry and the rest, moaning occasionally 'Oh Noh!!' or ' AAHHH!!!' as the dribble pools on the floor. (I'll have to sue you for carpet as well.)
This is an intolerable situation and I hold you completely responsible. You will be hearing from my solicitor as soon as he stops playing Doom.
- Jim Barber and Cabbage
What's he doing on our announcement list? Hmmm....Your message did not reach some or all of the intended recipients. To: announce_list@thaumaturgist.AmbrosiaSW.com Subject: announce_list: Chiral 1.0.4 update released Sent: 4/29/96 17:50:10 PM The following recipient(s) could not be reached: firstname.lastname@example.org on 4/29/96 17:50:10 PM Recipient Not Found [MSEXCH:IMC:microsoft:northamerica:RED-07-IMC]
I was sitting on the couch last night (4/4/96) watching TV when a Ford commercial came on playing music from Apeiron. I could not believe it at first but I then realized it also had sound effects, specifically from the crab-lobster-scorpion thing and that blue guy who lays mushrooms. The topic of the commercial was dealing with ants being able to pull more than their own weight. Wierd...You heard the sounds? Wierd... You know, that's just subliminal advertising backfiring on Ford. Instead of wanting to buy a car, you want to play Apeiron.
- Ryan Stocker
Could you tell me if there is anything I need to know before temporarily removing Apeiron and Maelstrom. The corporate guys are coming to the office so I need to remove both these games for the time being.Do those corporate guys have Macs? Have they seen Barrack?
- Wendy (last name withheld)
I've enjoyed going through your site, and I've been intrigued by the HectorCam(tm).Hector doesn't like the camera. If you are lucky enough to catch him there, you would probably be insulted as he stands there with his back to the camera. He's even insulted Gayle by calling her a Bimbo. Now that's rude!
Every day for weeks I've been coming into work and pretending to do my job, while in reality I've been checking the HectorCam(tm) over and over again for hours at a time.
And while I have been intrigued and entertained by the changing play of light on the back wall of the office and on Hector's perch (in the morning it's particularly lovely), I have detected a rather prominent lack of parrot in these scenes.
I almost hesitate to ask this, but is Hector still among the living? Don't get me wrong--I hope for the best. But if he is deceased I think we ought to know. You can't protect us forever.
Mind you, I think the HectorCam(tm) page would still be just as entertaining if he was dead, but you might want to change the name to a more Pythonesque DeadParrotCam(tm) instead.
- David Heaton