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Up Close and Personal with Ben Heffron


Ambrosia Times - Hey, you with the "kick me" sign on your back! Who are you?

Ben Heffron - Ben Heffron, or sometimes Mr. Heffer, or Heffer. I also like DaHeffer... buts thats just my screenname...

AT - Well, groovy! I think I have heard about you. You're the new kid in town, right?

BH - Which town, the one the one percenters have taken over? If that town, no. If Rochacha, yes. I moved here eighteen years ago... hmm.. thats right around when I was born, weird...

AT - Oh, cool. Did you notice that your initials are the same as the initials for someone named "Butt Head"? But anyway, on with this interview. What do you do for Ambrosia as an intern?

BH - I am an integral part of the developmental feedback loop. I am also studying interpersonal relationships in a small office setting.

AT - What the heck is a feedback loop?

BH - They kick me, I say "ow". It works really well believe it or not. And if I don't put the chair together right, they kick me more.

AT - Interpersonal relationships? What kind of horsepuckey is that?

BH - I think the military might be offended if I give the clear meaning of that phrase.

AT - Didn't you really come here just to play games all day?

BH - Truthfully, yes.

AT - Ah. I see. But the people at Ambrosia don't let you play that much, do they?

BH - Thats classified.

AT - Do they abuse you?

BH - No.