by John Haley
Help! Ambrosia Software must once again call on its loyal followers for assistance. Recently at the Macworld Boston Expo Ambrosia was awarded an award for Chiral. Ziff-Davis/MacUser declared Chiral a winner in the Trivial Pursuit category, based on the program's "excellence and cleverness."
Ambrosia's man on the spot for the award ceremony was our Technical Service Manager, "Cajun" David Richard. After gratefully accepting the award, pumping the appropriate hands and thanking all of those present; Cajun was off for a full helping of the Boston Expo's nightlife.
Upon return to Rochester and unpacking, Cajun discovered that he was no longer in possession of Ambrosia's award. After a few days in the office, it became apparent that Cajun did not ship the award home either. Under hypnotic interrogation, Cajun has divulged that after one too many complimentary cocktails he traded the award for a steaming bowl of gumbo. It seems you can take the man out of the bayou, but you can not take the bayou out of the man.
Although sometimes easily riled, Andrew showed great restraint when he heard of the "gimme gumbo" caper. He was perfectly satisfied with stripping Cajun buck naked, duct taping his hands, spraying him with carrot juice and locking him in a phone booth with Hector. Although this punishment made us all feel better (including Cajun(there is something about that boy)), the award is still unaccounted for.
To attempt to re-acquire our award Andrew started by relying on his two greatest strengths. He is a good programmer, and he can be a sneaky, devilish, fiend. He went to the local computer superstore and bought a copy of Where In the World is Carmen Santiago . He spent a whole night hacking into this program and replacing "Carmen Santiago" with "My damn award." Unfortunately, the Information Highway troopers would not let him upload this blatantly illegal piece.
So now we are appealing to the masses. Does anyone know the Creole push cart vendor selling Gumbo outside of Fenway Park. Or, has anyone seen our award in pawnshop windows. After much consideration, I have decided to offer Hector the office parrot as a reward for anyone giving us information that leads to recovering this lost treasure.
This story is a bit of a tall tale. We did receive the award mentioned, but it has made its way home safe and sound. We will display it right next to the same award we won last year for Maelstrom 1.4.0. A special thanks to the Ziff-Davis/MacUser people for honoring us in such a way.