Desperate Housewives: The Game?

It's the end of the world as we know it.

My friend wrote this in an e-mail to me.

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E-mail #1

http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/060324/20060324005167.html

I can make this game much better.

First, drop the lifestyle simulation aspect. I hate The Sims, and that game is probably better than this. Not only that, the target audience of Desperate Housewives are women my mom's age. The PC game market needs a new tactical espionage action game., and Desperate Housewives should deliver in explosive fashion.

Secondly, change the plotline. Retool it so that it is like 24: The Game in the sense that it ties seasons together. Instead of just having your avatar discover the intrigue the other housewives have every Sunday during Family Guy, create an original plot. The neighborhood is in an uproar when Sam Hunter (Michael Ironside) moves in. As the player progresses through the game, they'll discover that somebody has been sneaking around at night, and has been communicating to a strange character named Lambert (Dennis Haysbert). Soon, a new character, Bob Wolferton (Michael Chiklis or Kiefer Sutherland) moves in, and at night, gunshots can be heard. It soon becomes apparent that Sam Hunter is actually Sam Fisher, and Bob Wolferton is actually a threatening villian. This plot is uncovered entirely through stealth eavesdropping, just like the show.

Thirdly, your desperate housewife will not be unarmed. She'll be able to stun foes and interrogate them with the kitchen's latest technology. Butter knives, frying pans, a pancake flipper, and a Beretta are all in your armory. You also have special abilties like:

http://movies.apple.com/moviesxml/s/weinst...00510261428.jpg
Disguises via sex changes

http://pub.tv2.no/multimedia/TV2/archive/0...ria_192522g.jpg
Stunning smiles (you can also go down the path of the Dark Side, as evidenced here)

http://images.tvnz.co.nz/tvnz_images/tv2/p..._hatcher2_d.jpg
The Icy Stare

http://gallery.phillyburbs.com/photos/103/38.aspx
And the hideous smile

All in the name of protecting the welfare of the neighborhood.

Finally, there will be an online deathmatch mode. Will Bree defeat Lynette? Will Susan finish Gabrielle? All this and more will be answered in...

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES: STEALTH ACTION REDEFINED


E-mail #2

There's also the handheld version as well. Anyway, this is the pitch:

All the fun of Desperate Housewives in the palm of your hand! You assume the role of an avatar with your choice of two hairstyles and two dresses! The possibilities are endless!

Of course, the customization would be moot without gameplay, and boy, does Desperate Housewives deliver! Move your avatar through the environments and fight dust bunnies while collecting coins to trade for awesome moves, like the double jump and the roll! Use abilities to go into new environments! The fun never ends!

Also promising fun and unique boss battles, such as the twins, the gardener, and the creepy black man in the basement!

This is not a good thing. You cannot take every show and make it a video game. Especially not all the bad ones. This is just dumb.

I think I'll go burn my [roomate's] TV in protest of this...offense.

When do I get Trading Spaces on my PSP?

I made a high pitched whine/scream when I read that article, and I think it sums up my opinion of it.

Why? Why make this?

What kind af god would allow this to happen?!?

This is just stupid.