The other day, I finished my final project in Computer Programming and was bored with my many side projects I had thought up, so I started looking up zombies, and I came across this: Zombie Simulator

There are four more versions below, but the 3D one is an exe file...

Have fun watching your city become infected. Or if you are playing a mod version, have fun nuking things!

I've seen it before, but I had not seen some of the variants. The nuking one is fun. I've got a high score of saving 3604 humans. I think the forerunner approach works best. Don't kill the zombies, kill their food.

4985 saved. That was addicting.

I saved 3. This seemed to constitute an acceptable performance, so I stopped.

Only if there were still both men and women left to populate the Earth. Three dudes or three chicks would basically be like saving nobody at all.

Then again, SA might be inclined to come down from his godlike zombie-nuking station if there were nothing but three chicks left.

-Pufer

That's a different kind of nuke button

Mass impregnate!

I saved 40. How many more do you need?

3736 is the best that I've done.

-Pufer

We talking about mass impregnating people, or your score in the game?

Ehhehheh. Just keep reloading the page over and over again, they nuke the spots where the zombies pop up really fast, then you save everyone easily, or just increase the population really high, to like 6000 and then save more people that way.

Heh. I don't think I could come up with 3736 women who wanted to screw me.

On second thought, I probably could, but I don't have enough money to do it that way.

-Pufer

If you were the dude with his finger on the nuke button, I'm sure they'd give you a discount!

Woo Hoo! I saved One!

I'm sure you could find quite a many more than 3736. There are billions of women out there after all. The only problem is actually meeting them all and getting into a situation where it might happen.

Which is where the nuke button helps!

remember kids if you don't use a condom you may become infected and turn into a zombie.

I think you and I must date a different calibre of girl...

necrophilia is an unfortunate thing . . .

You don't have to explain it to me.


...but you will have to answer to Jesus.

Let's just say there's a reason his corpse went missing, and it wasn't him rising from the dead.

and with that I think I'm done.

Him?

-Pufer

Yeah, ######ing a corpse is one thing, but a male corpse?

You sick ######!

You make it sound like a man doing a female corpse isn't wrong... Doing the Leaning Tower of Pisa, now that's just odd...

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen any necrophilia porn. I really hadn't thought there was much left in the genre that I'd not seen. More unusual than that is the fact that I can't really seem to find any.

Market niche identified, now all we need is some funding and some corpses.

-Pufer

Just go to med school and get a job inspecting the new cadavers.

What a sick topic this has become...

Welcome to the ATT!

Bout a month late there, pal!

And Pufer, have you been stealing the bodies of deceased GTW players lately?

I've not been stealing bodies at all, at least as far as I can recall.

-Pufer

Never mind. Turns out the guy managed to survive his own autopsy. I know people can survive open heart surgery, but in autopsies, the doctor knows that they are dead, so they aren't really gunna car about what gets disconnected... I say the coroner is in on it...
>.>
<.<

The picture was in response to your 'What a sick topic this has become..." line.

I know.
I also know how to get away from zombies if they attack my school. Run to the 2nd level of the gym, (Theres the gym, then a ring of bleachers one floor up.), jump onto one of the basketball hoops, and climb up the winch cable that lifts it back into storage position. The winches are in a crawlspace above the ceiling. Apparently, one out of three zombies can effectively use a ladder, but none can climb a metal cord.

If zombies attack in sufficient numbers that you have to worry about it, by the time you do all that the school will be surrounded and you'll be stuck on the roof/in the crawlspace. Also, just because zombies can't climb ladders/winch cables, it doesn't mean those folks who have been bitten but have not yet succumbed can't. If someone dies after they struggle to the top of the winch cable, you got a zombie on your hands up top. If zombies attack, run away from them. Hope that there's someplace left to run back to.

-Pufer

How long would this person have before they changed into a zombie? Less than a few minutes and I don't think I have to worry. It's a long cable.

Almost certainly more than a few minutes.

-Pufer

Zombie transformations aren't instantaneous. It will take some time. What I would do is run home and grab my broom handle. What ever was connected to it has long since broken off and I can effectively use it as a weapon. I'm not sure how that will help against zombies though. I could always grab a shotgun...

Hah! That one is going on the all-time greatest typos list. "And what would you do if zombies attacked, G-Spark?" "Well, I'd run home and grab my dick. Don't know what the ###### it'd to, but that's not going to slow me down!"

Classic.

-Pufer

I would drive my motorcycle off of a power line, and onto the head zombie, destroying it with a large explosion then somehow surviving. I'd follow that up with (what is supposed to be) a bad-ass less-than-ten-syllable line that every 5th grade boy that saw me say will be repeating for months. I'd then refuse to just blow up the building that the rest of the zombies were in and insisting that my only hope is to run all over town trying to find the only weapon that 1) can kill a zombie 2) is as big as me 3) has more pipes and fire starters than a bong shop. After that, I would come back to the building to find that all of the zombies had escaped. To finish it all off, I'd have a fight that leaves me bloody and lying on the ground, then shoot the last zombie with my last ounce of strength before sliding off of the dead body I was propped up on and passing out. When I woke up, I'd find out that the zombies were either a terrorist attack, or a corrupt government official's attemp to destroy the only person that knows he was trying to take over the country.

YAY! My first topic to go red!

For a while, I considered saying the most innocent thing that could be interpreted as sick and wrong that I could think of, just to see what your response to it would be...

There are a number of problems with that scenario. First, zombies are driven by a desire for flesh - they are entirely self-serving and self-motivated. As such, there is no zombie hierarchy or "head zombie," only a bunch of zombies all driven by and intent on one thing. Second, the zombies would follow you whilst you looked for your superweapon. While it would, in fact, be the case that they had escaped from the building, you'd still be able to find them right behind you. Third, your primary aim should be to not find yourself bloodied as zombie virus is blood borne. Open wound + zombie splatter = zombie. Fourth, zombies spread like wildfire, the odds of you getting them all, the terrorists not being infected themselves and spreading the virus back whereever they are, or the government official not running rampant through the Pentagon are virtually nil. The Zombie War has just begun, babe. When you wake up, you best be locking in for the long haul.

-Pufer

I just had a random urge to make fun of those goddamn counter terrorist movies.

I'm actually looking forward to this Zombie War... The no open cuts thing does not really work out well for me, though... I tend to find myself unable to not pick scabs...

What happens if a werewolf gets bitten by a vampire, then by a zombie?

I'm ever so tempted to sig-quote that

It is really funny, but you kinda need G-Spark's post, too. That would be too long...

Why would you try to avoid becoming a zombie?

Ahahahahahahah!!!! That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever typed in my life.

Aww... I missed it...

lemony, if you are a zombie, then you can't become a werewolf! DUH! Also, no cheese on Tuesday...

I don't want my stomach to burst from the overconsumption of raw human flesh.

-Pufer

learn to diet?

Or just stop yourself being turned in the first time. Much easier

If you're going to get turned into something, get turned into a vampire. Vampires are awesome. Or perhaps a Werewolf.

I'm not sure which I'd choose, given the option. If I could be a daywalker, I'd be a vampire, no doubt!

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I'm now tempted to make a movie about a zombie invasion. A bunch of kids have to fight off a zombie army while trying to reach the Pentagon or something.

I say you should get turned into a Paladin.