Sure, you've read the Evil Overlord List, but here's one you probably haven't seen before. Introducinggg...
The RPG Cliche List!
The author of this list cataloged all the strange stuff that disconnects RPGs from the real world (and appears to occur frightfully often.)
From the uncanny accuracy of the Nostradamus Rule (All legends are 100% accurate, all rumors are entirely factual, and all prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately) to the speed of the Seventh Law of Travel (When on a voyage to another continent, the journey will last only as long as it takes you to talk to all the other passengers and the captain) to the... er... accuracy of the Law of Traps (No matter how obvious the trap, you still can't complete the game unless you fall into it), this list will have you laughing, hard, as you reminisce about the Golden(?) Age of console RPGs.
Full Version: The RPG Cliche List
Old but still true.
Don't have time right now but looks to be made of win.
Very good.
A fun read, brings back some memories. Thanks.
I feel like playing 6 again. Maybe this time my cheat will work and i can give shadow Lore for the fun of it.
Those made me want to create an RPG all over again.
Worthy of mention:
Zidane's Curse (or, Dirty Pair Rule)
An unlucky condition in which every major city in the game will coincidentally wind up being destroyed just after the hero arrives.
The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule
a. Any male character who is ugly, malformed, or misshapen is either evil or so moral, spiritual, and/or wise that it's a wonder no one's proposed him for sainthood yet.
b. Any male character who has a physical disfiguration that doesn't seem to impede him (i.e. a prominent scar across the face or a bad eye) is evil, unless he is the male lead, since scars are cool and no other good guy can be as cool as the hero. An exception is made for characters who are clearly ancient, and therefore automatically not as cool as the young hero.
c. Any female character who is ugly, malformed, mishapen, or physically disfigured is evil, since all good female characters are there to be potentially seduced by the male lead -- see Know Your Audience.
Eighth Law of Travel
There are no shortcuts, ever -- unless you are forced to take them, in which case they will be much longer and more dangerous than your original route.
Law of Numbers
There will be several items or effects which depend on the numerical value of your hit points, level, etc., which makes no sense unless the characters can see all the numbers in their world and find it perfectly normal that a spell only works on a monster whose level is a multiple of 5.
Wait! That Was A Load-Bearing Boss!
Defeating a dungeon's boss creature will frequently cause the dungeon to collapse, which is nonsensical but does make for thrilling escape scenes.
Law of Productive Gullibility (Ruby Rule)
Whenever anybody comes up to you with a patently ludicrous claim (such as, "I'm not a cat, I'm really an ancient Red Dragon") there's an at least two-thirds chance they're telling the truth. Therefore, it pays to humor everyone you meet; odds are you'll be glad you did later on.
...and many more. I suggest that we here at Ambrosia start our own list, not an RPG Cliche List, but any Evil-Overlord-esque list. What say you?
Worthy of mention:
Zidane's Curse (or, Dirty Pair Rule)
An unlucky condition in which every major city in the game will coincidentally wind up being destroyed just after the hero arrives.
The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule
a. Any male character who is ugly, malformed, or misshapen is either evil or so moral, spiritual, and/or wise that it's a wonder no one's proposed him for sainthood yet.
b. Any male character who has a physical disfiguration that doesn't seem to impede him (i.e. a prominent scar across the face or a bad eye) is evil, unless he is the male lead, since scars are cool and no other good guy can be as cool as the hero. An exception is made for characters who are clearly ancient, and therefore automatically not as cool as the young hero.
c. Any female character who is ugly, malformed, mishapen, or physically disfigured is evil, since all good female characters are there to be potentially seduced by the male lead -- see Know Your Audience.
Eighth Law of Travel
There are no shortcuts, ever -- unless you are forced to take them, in which case they will be much longer and more dangerous than your original route.
Law of Numbers
There will be several items or effects which depend on the numerical value of your hit points, level, etc., which makes no sense unless the characters can see all the numbers in their world and find it perfectly normal that a spell only works on a monster whose level is a multiple of 5.
Wait! That Was A Load-Bearing Boss!
Defeating a dungeon's boss creature will frequently cause the dungeon to collapse, which is nonsensical but does make for thrilling escape scenes.
Law of Productive Gullibility (Ruby Rule)
Whenever anybody comes up to you with a patently ludicrous claim (such as, "I'm not a cat, I'm really an ancient Red Dragon") there's an at least two-thirds chance they're telling the truth. Therefore, it pays to humor everyone you meet; odds are you'll be glad you did later on.
...and many more. I suggest that we here at Ambrosia start our own list, not an RPG Cliche List, but any Evil-Overlord-esque list. What say you?
I read that a year or two ago. Made me laugh back then. Sometimes I cite examples from it as to why I've mostly given up on console RPGs.
QUOTE(SoItBegins @ Jan 19 2008, 09:14 PM) 
Sure, you've read the Evil Overlord List, but here's one you probably haven't seen before.
I've seen it.
Have you ever heard of TV Tropes Wiki? They go into some depth on some of these topics.
Their pages on (The equivalent of) The Sleepyhead Rule
and No! My Beloved Peasant Village!
They actually have a series of pages set up as a sort of cross-reference index for where the list intersects existing pages.
Still funny.
QUOTE
# The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)
The more outrageous his hairstyle, the more important a male character is to the story.
The more outrageous his hairstyle, the more important a male character is to the story.
QUOTE
Just Nod Your Head And Smile
And no matter how big that big-ass sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their posessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.
And no matter how big that big-ass sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their posessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.
QUOTE
Sixth Law of Travel
Nobody gets to own a cooler ride than you. If you ever do see a cooler vehicle than the one you've got now, at some point before the end of the game you will either take over this vehicle, get something even bigger and better, or else see it destroyed in a glorious blaze.
Nobody gets to own a cooler ride than you. If you ever do see a cooler vehicle than the one you've got now, at some point before the end of the game you will either take over this vehicle, get something even bigger and better, or else see it destroyed in a glorious blaze.
QUOTE
Selective Invulnerability Principle
RPG characters are immune from such mundane hazards as intense heat, freezing cold, or poison gas... except when they're suddenly not. Surprise!
RPG characters are immune from such mundane hazards as intense heat, freezing cold, or poison gas... except when they're suddenly not. Surprise!
I love 'em
I think I had read that before, but I enjoyed reading it now.
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