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Seanbaby's EGM's Crapstravaganza: The 20 Worst Video Games of All Time.
It takes a special kind of failure to make it into this list. A game has to be more than boring or poorly executed. To become one of the 20 Worst, it starts as a bad idea and ends by actually lowering the quality of life of people who haven't played it.
This article originally appeared at the beginning of this year in the 150th issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly. The editors gave some good suggestions, and sent me video game systems that the rest of the world was smart enough to destroy like the Atari Jaguar, Sega CD, and 3D0. It's safe to say that I played more video games during the course of my three months of research than I had in the previous 24 years of my life. If a game was named after a movie or had the words Mary Kate and Ashley in it, I played it. And it took a toll on my sanity. For example, Shaq Fu is a game about Shaquille O'Neal battling in a super-powered martial arts tournament, and I was in such a cloudy state of mind that I forgot to include it.
CHANGES FROM THE PRINT VERSION:
Obviously, most of the swearing that I left out or that was edited out of the print version has been put back in to better express how these f**king c**t ass games pissed me off. The print staff also took a strange artistic license and took most of the words that I wrote ending in "g" and replaced the "g" with an apostrophe, making a good portion of the article sound like I was yellin' it from the back of a pickup truck. Their editors made a few shifts in the placement of the games, and at the last minute the EGM staff decided there were too many Jaguar games, so they replaced Club Drive with the Gilligan's Island review from my 20 Worst Nintendo Games. That was fine with me, but I still insist that if this list was perfectly accurate, the 20 Worst games really would just be 19 Atari Jaguar games and the Atari 2600's god damn E.T..
It takes a special kind of failure to make it into this list. A game has to be more than boring or poorly executed. To become one of the 20 Worst, it starts as a bad idea and ends by actually lowering the quality of life of people who haven't played it.
This article originally appeared at the beginning of this year in the 150th issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly. The editors gave some good suggestions, and sent me video game systems that the rest of the world was smart enough to destroy like the Atari Jaguar, Sega CD, and 3D0. It's safe to say that I played more video games during the course of my three months of research than I had in the previous 24 years of my life. If a game was named after a movie or had the words Mary Kate and Ashley in it, I played it. And it took a toll on my sanity. For example, Shaq Fu is a game about Shaquille O'Neal battling in a super-powered martial arts tournament, and I was in such a cloudy state of mind that I forgot to include it.
CHANGES FROM THE PRINT VERSION:
Obviously, most of the swearing that I left out or that was edited out of the print version has been put back in to better express how these f**king c**t ass games pissed me off. The print staff also took a strange artistic license and took most of the words that I wrote ending in "g" and replaced the "g" with an apostrophe, making a good portion of the article sound like I was yellin' it from the back of a pickup truck. Their editors made a few shifts in the placement of the games, and at the last minute the EGM staff decided there were too many Jaguar games, so they replaced Club Drive with the Gilligan's Island review from my 20 Worst Nintendo Games. That was fine with me, but I still insist that if this list was perfectly accurate, the 20 Worst games really would just be 19 Atari Jaguar games and the Atari 2600's god damn E.T..
So here it is, the uncensored, hilariously funny 20 worst games of all time. Discuss.
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"You watch the world exploding every single night
Dancing in the sun a new born in the light
Say goodbye to gravity and say goodbye to death
Hello to eternity and live for every breath."
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