The Scratching Post: Cleaning Up the Streets! (alternative title: Ewwwwww)

Posted Oct 16 2009, 06:50 PM

For our large contributions to general debauchery, we here at Ambrosia also try to bring some positive change to the world at large (conceal your surprise-- we're good people, I swear it!!). In a previous post, I mentioned our adopted school in Bonao. One of our more recent initiatives is participation in the local Adopt-A-Highway program.

Let's get honest for a minute here-- Adopt-A-Highway is undeniably not the most glamourous or rewarding volunteer work. For those who may not know about the program, it basically involves paying the state for the privilege of cleaning up a stretch of road in your community. Now, I know I said we like to give back, but let me clarify that "like" and "enjoy" are not necessarily synonymous. Nobody really *enjoys* cleaning up other people's garbage (except for Jake, who, as our eco-enthusiast and IT manager, is used to that sort of thing), but every 3 months, we don our fluorescent yellow vests and take to the streets like some geeky silicon valley chain gang.

Prior to our very first cleanup, we received a lecture from this woman who I can only assume is a professionally certified roadside cleanup lecture expert; although I did fail to check her proper credentials. She looked as though she may have never cleaned a roadside in her life; however, she *was* full of relevant insight on the topic. After an intense half hour crash course, in which we were armed with the wisdom we needed to pick up car parts and avoid dead bodies along the highway, we were officially declared capable parents to the 3-mile stretch of road next to our office.

Since the beginning of April, we have held three cleanups. These events could be deemed successful not only by the pristine appearance of baby Ambrosia, but by the sheer entertainment value they provide the crew. Below, for your viewing pleasure, I have included a photo montage highlighting the better finds of our most recent scour. Expect more fun finds from our crazy little Highway once the ground begins thawing this spring (as it doesnt look like Jake is letting us get out of our parental obligations any time soon)!


Men @ Work. (notice El Presidente clever nipple grabbing techniques)

Aw a new friend for Dominic… He's back up to one!!

We've gone from "Inmate" to "homeless".

"This Highway Cleanup Has Been Brought to You by Jerome, and the Number Six! (or is it nine?!)"


"David: 'I'm Keeping This!'"

"Downed Power Lines Don't Deter This Brave Crew." (Editors Note: The definition of brave and crazy are sometimes confused around the office)

"The Sign Is the Hardest Part, But the Crew Try to Figure Ways Around It. MacGyver is Proud."

"David Found Some Pain Killers! Extra Strength-- Alright!!!"

"We Assume this is Urine. Sadly We Had No Intern to Test this Theory."

"Found Not Far From The Excedrine and an Empty Prophylactic Wrapper… You do the Math."

"Stamps for Andrew."

"I'm not Touching That. (Raccoon, or possible Chupacabra.)

"Found Suspiciously Close to Other Said Items…" 

"Needles!!!  Yay!!"

"To Complete the Outfit".

"A Fitting Image to Leave You Off With."

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Ok so...

Some homeless man must have been Using the needles to freebase am elixer of excedrine and male enhancement drugs? Then in his stupor chose to beastialize the poor possum to death, but not without a few personal safety measures? And as the beast ran off to die, the bum musta passed out after too much vodka/lemonade drink mix? When awoken by a passing tractor trailer a few hours later; the bum, who must be named Cyrus, ran off in such a hurry he left his pet rabbit, his best friend the gnome, and his prized stamp collection behind? Even now he stumbles about the Rochester subway mumbling "dude, where's my cart"?
Lolz, always love ur blog Kat! Thanx for the entertainment!

On Oct 19 2009, 10:48 AM, by frogythegreat

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